


it's not supposed to be like this

by celestial_hieroglyphs



Category: Not Another D&D Podcast (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sad boi hours, no plot just sad times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:40:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21813067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestial_hieroglyphs/pseuds/celestial_hieroglyphs
Summary: erlin knows a happy life, and if not that, a good life. an average life.this isn't it.
Relationships: Erlin Kindleaf/Beverly Toegold V
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	it's not supposed to be like this

Erlin knows where he is. He is on the ship of someone he barely knows, alone in a room he sleeps in. His sister is in a nearby room, the someone he barely knows is up on deck with the other someone he barely knows. 

His parents are in the ground and his boyfriend(?) is in Hell, and he is at War.

Erlin knows where he is. Erlin knows why this is, why it has to be.

It doesn't stop him from remembering what he misses, what was stolen from him, where he's supposed to be.

Erlin is supposed to be in Galaderon.

Galaderon is supposed to be more than ashes and angel wings, and he's supposed to be there.

Erlin is supposed to be in Galaderon, with his maybe-boyfriend, Beverly Toegold.

Beverly is supposed to be his best friend who he is very in love with, who he is kind of in a relationship with. That relationship is supposed to be quiet, with their hands lingering where their knuckles brush together, and movie nights they insist on spending alone, and it's supposed to be full of trust.

Before that, even, Beverly is supposed to be a _Green Teen_ , with those bright eyes Erlin loves and a forehead scarred _only_ by acne. His sword is supposed to be regulation, he should have been drawn astray by Denny and taught better by his Hardwon & Moonshine. Beverly is supposed to have a mom who doesn't cry herself to sleep, and he's supposed to have a dad who is... there. 

Erlin is supposed to be in Galaderon, with his maybe-boyfriend, Beverly, and his best friends Derlin and Cran.

Derlin and Cran are supposed to be there, and they're supposed to be kids, for Pelor's sake! Derlin is supposed to be a little slow on the draw, an astonishing singer, pudgy, and stronger than he looks. He's supposed to be _16_. Cran is supposed to be a bit analytical, fascinated by traps of all kinds, brave, and more mischievous than people tend to think. She's supposed to be _16_. They're supposed to be getting good nights sleeps, with their nightmares confined to whatever boogeyman of the week they tell tales of hiding in the trees, and supposed to only have scars from falling out of trees and skinning their knees, their responsibilities are supposed to be limited to mundane chores.

They're supposed to be kids, teens.

They're supposed to be kids.

He's supposed to be a kid-!

But he is not. He is not this, he is not that, and the details don't matter because Erlin Kindleaf- the orphan, the left-behind, the useless brother, the scorned lover, the failed green knight, the unworthy and, damn it all, the trying-his-damned-hardest- is at war, and snapping himself out of a frustrated daydream.

It's not supposed to be like this.

But it is. And it is.

So, _it is._


End file.
